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COMPLAINTS, MUSINGS, AND OF COURSE WISDOM FROM DOUCHEBALL HIMSELF! NO'MSAYIN'? ~George Carlin
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Thursday, February 20, 2003
Monday, February 10, 2003
...from Shane! Thanks for the CD, pal! It was very clever and very thoughtful! Haven't been blogging too much lately, as there hasn't been anything amusing to tell you about. Well, that has all changed. Let me tell you about my latest Office Space-ish experience (I swear to fuck, this should be in the sequel to Office Space, if there ever is one). We had a pair of meetings on Wednesday and Thursday of last week. Well, as you all know, I work on Wednesdays, but not Thursdays. Therefore, I missed Thursday's portion of the meeting. When I returned to work on Saturday, I asked how Thursday's portion of the meeting went. All I can say is thank Beelzebub that I wasn't there. Some dildo at my work (thankfully, a rep in another state) wrote this fucking song about customer service and the things we should focus on to improve ours. Apparently, the top brass in my department thought that this was pretty swell. So swell, that the said dildo and some other reps brought in instruments and recorded the fucking song!!! Well, the brass thought that we in SLC would really enjoy hearing and perhaps even singing the song in our meeting. So, the poor bastards that were there were all presented lyric sheets. Also, they asked for volunteers to rehearse the song, and perform it while the rest of the crew could sing along. I don't know that I could've resisted raising my arms and swaying them back and forth, if I'd been there. It's a damn good thing I wasn't there. My fellow co-workers told me that would not have been a good idea, as the big shots were taking the song pretty serious, and wouldn't have been amused by my shenanigans. Corporate America...can you get more fucking ridiculous? Scary part is, I can think of another incident that was equally retarded. Remember, the delightful music store that I managed? Well, we would attend annual meetings in another state. My last year with the company, we flew to Minneapolis. Now, don't get me wrong. The company really knew how to throw a party, with a lot of big musical acts and plenty of beer and food. However, our last morning in the banquet room that we were having breakfast, we were treated to one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced. The presenters asked us to stand up, and they told us we were in for a treat. The treat was they cranked that "Fly Away" song by Lenny Kravitz, and they asked us to all sing along. Why? Because we were flying home that morning, and they thought we would all think that was fun and clever, apparently. My table sat there, and our boss scurried over to us and told us we at least needed to stand, even if we weren't going to sing. We all looked at each other in bewilderment as we stood there mouthing the words to that awful goddamn song. Does anyone else have a story about corporate cheesiness? I'd love to hear about it. If you have a blog, you should tell us about it there. If you don't feel like typing a novel in my comments, you can send me an email and I'll publish it on my blog.
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