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COMPLAINTS, MUSINGS, AND OF COURSE WISDOM FROM DOUCHEBALL HIMSELF! NO'MSAYIN'? ~George Carlin
Archives
April 2001 May 2001 June 2001 July 2001 August 2001 September 2001 October 2001 November 2001 December 2001 January 2002 February 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 December 2003 January 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 January 2005 February 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 December 2005 
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Monday, May 27, 2002
Here we go...
IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Next to a lake would be ideal. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Big shirts FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE (or same) SEX? On women, hips.....ohhhhh, hips. I could not be with a woman who was straight as a board (or even close) in this respect. I'm generally not very superficial, but this is a must. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT? Built To Spill "Ancient Melodies Of The Future". WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? Without elaborating, I'll just say....with Lorene. Geographically, I love Las Vegas and London. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? Anywhere without proper air conditioning. Or being in line. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Strong mind. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING? 5:00am-5:30am during the week; 9am-11am on weekends WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Refrigerator WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? People who abuse the vulnerable, particularly animals. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Drums FAVORITE COLOR? Shit brown, piss yellow, sperm white, and booger green. Oh, and I like grey, too. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? SUV DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? Not really, but you never know for sure. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? "Where The Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Autumn WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? Yardwork IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I guess I would choose healing people, but if I were being selfish, I'd say invisibility. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? Let me quote one of my favorite songs by the White Kaps. The song is called "No Tatto" "Wanna tatto but Mom says no No son of mine's gonna be a freakshow Wanna show off, wanna be a clown There's a circus pulling in on the other side of town Think you're so smart, think your so slick Wanna tatto, you can get it on your dick No need to snivel, no need to pout Want a tattoo then you've gotta move out MOM SAYS NO TATTOS!" If I had a child, I think that's what I would tell it. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Not really THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My grandpa who killed himself. I'd spend more time with him. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? My day off WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Spare tire, jack, frisbee, yellow pages, sun visor for the car. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Hamburger, of course. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU READ THIS POST, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dunno WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dunno WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Domestic-cats Wild-otters IF YOU COULD SEDUCE A STAR, WHO WOULD IT BE? Winona Ryder WHAT'S THE QUOTE YOU MOST OVERUSE? "No'msayin'", "S'all good"
Weekend all fucked up, but it ended well
So, here I am at work on Memorial Day. Yeah, it would appear that I'm a sucker, but I feel that I would much rather be here when it's slower than shit than on a normal busy day. So, I'll use my PTO elsewhere. I was supposed to hang out with my Rene a whole bunch this weekend, since I am gonna be out of town from the 30th through the 3rd. However, things didn't go exactly as planned. Friday, I was taking my great-grandfather up to the University Hospital for a doctor appointment to follow up on swelling on his knee. He had been to emergency the day before. Friday morning, he woke up with his left hand nearly useless. He could squeeze and had sensation, but couldn't move his wrist up or down. Of course, we sat in the fucking waiting room of emergency for over an hour, despite having an appointment. When we got in, we had some more waiting to do. When the 2nd doctor finally looked him over, she determined that she wanted him to stay overnight, if possible. They wanted to perform some more tests and wouldn't be able to complete them all tonight. Either that or he could go home and come back tomorrow. I advised my Grandpa that he would be better off staying, so he wouldn't have to come back and sit in the waiting room on Saturday. He agreed, and I sighed with relief. Since I was off Saturday, I knew that I would be the one helping him. I finally took my Grandma home after being there for about 4 hours. The next day, I picked up my Grandma to go get Grandpa from the hospital. Thankfully, it was determined that he didn't have a stroke (that was the fear, in regards to his hand problem). The doctors didn't know what was wrong with his hand. However, they suspected that it was palsy. They gave me instructions and prescriptions and sent me home with him after about an hour and a half. I was told that I could fill his prescriptions at any pharmacy in the valley or use the U pharmacy. The U pharmacy was packed, so we decided to go with their normal pharmacy. Got Grandpa home and took Grandma to Wal-mart to get the prescriptions filled. Turns out that the residents at the U don't have licenses to write out prescriptions to anywhere but the U's pharmacy. At this point, I'm thinking I'm going to have to go back there, and I can feel my face reddening and I'm about to go through the fucking roof. Fortunately, the cool pharmacist called up to the U, and told those fuckers that they aren't licensed to be doing this shit and they need to stop. He got a licensed physician's # and filled the prescriptions....after about 2 fucking hours!!! Not only was there this problem, but the insurance didn't want to cover one of the prescriptions. Somehow, everything worked out, eventually. Finally, got Grandma home and got to go spend some time with Lorene. I guess this was good preparation for when mine and Lorene's parent's health starts to dramatically decline. And at least it wasn't crazy Grandma (not that I would do anything for her, anyhow). Lorene and I made the most of our time together on Saturday night and all day Sunday. Sunday, we went and fed the ducks and geese again. I didn't get bit this time, but that same fucking goose decided that since I was keeping him at bay with the bag of bread, that he would bite the shit out of that. Then, the fucker lowers his neck and head to where it's an inch above the ground and starts walking at me sideways!!!! I thought momentarily about whacking him a good one, but I don't like hurting animals if I can avoid it. I prefer to have others kill them so that I may dine on their sweet flesh. So, afterwards we went shopping with the final destination being Petco. I don't think I've mentioned it here, but my 3 fish that Lorene gave my for Christmas 2000, all died this month. So, I got some new ones. They are called Glass Fish. I saw some at a different store and they actually had colors. Mine are not colored. They are transparent. I went in to this pick very uneducated. I've just read an article about these fish, and am very disturbed by the practices that give these fish color (painted glassfish). With mine being plain transparent, I hope they have never been subjected to this kind of cruelty. Anyhow, they are feisty, pissed off fish. They were trying to bite at Lorene's fingers through the bag on the car ride home. And when I got them in their tank, they were going nuts, pounding in to the rocks, causing all kinds of ruckus. I have decided to call them Jeremy and Michelle. I think I've heard one call the other "dickhead" already. Later, we watched "Vanilla Sky", and I took 'Rene home. End of story. Music: "The Game" by the Levellers
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
Hey
If your blog is coming up as "page not found", then go publish something to it, and it should come back up.
Thank You
To everyone who has wished me a happy birthday through my blog, their blogs, e-mails, cards, etc. I decided not to make a big production out of my birthday, this year. So, I couldn't sleep last night, and when I did it was restless sleep. Then, I woke up with a headache....so, I used my last sick day at work and spent the day at home. It was real nice to be asleep this morning while it was so cool outside, and not have to be in front of a computer with a headache. I'm much better, now. I should sleep better tonight than last, with the cool weather. I hate the fact that my parents don't have central air. I can't believe they still trot out that shitty swamp cooler every year. Central air would've been a much better investment than that fucking remodeled kitchen. Whatever. Not my house. Not my money. Music: "Hippy Dippy Doo" by Rocket From The Crypt
Saturday, May 18, 2002
Wow!
Lorene and I went to see Peter Murphy Friday night, and we both walked out thoroughlly amazed at that guy's voice and talent. He only played 4 songs that I recognized (one being a Bowie cover). It sounds like he's tinkering with middle eastern melodies, and it's unreal how his voice meshes with the music that his insanely talented band was playing. He's very engaging to watch. It seemed like he made eye contact with everyone there (which was a bit unnerving, as he would fix his gaze on you for a really long time). The guy is clearly the king of goth without even trying. His music doesn't sound particularly goth, but he has a feel to him that is just that. I can't believe he smokes and his voice is still that perfect. I maintain, however, that the Bauhaus reunion show that he did a couple years back was better. The show was outside at Bricks, and it couldn't have been a more perfect night for a show. I'm still stinging about getting fucked out of seeing Motorhead, but I also realize that the club and promoter were probably every bit as much at fault for their cancellation as the band were. The hard thing to swallow is that the band is supposed to give a shit about their fans. We don't expect that out of club owners and promoters. I still love Motorhead, but I am pissed at them. I don't know if they'll ever be back. Music: "Doe" by the Breeders
Friday, May 17, 2002
So...
I celebrated becoming 32 years old, this week. I chose the Rodizio Grill as my restaurant of choice. I only had to put my Dad in line once (and very mildly, at that). He started to panic when the waitress didn't offer to bring out any appetizers, and I had to explain to him that they bring out the appetizers as a matter of course. I had a great time consuming large hunks of death, and got to shake the lil' Brazillian tambourine while they sang "Dadadadadadadadadada............HEY! I got lotsa money spent on me by my generous parents and fiancee, in particular. I now have a new minidisc recorder. Speaking of stereos, my car stereo quit working correctly. Fortunately, it was under warranty. But now I'm without a stereo in my car for 4-6 weeks from the time I took it in (about 2 weeks ago). I'm going nuts. The silence makes me feel insane, as I talk and sing to myself. I have a little boombox in my car, and that eases the pain in the mornings. I can see how spoiled I am. Also, the stereo I have in my car isn't being made any more. It plays both my minidiscs and CD's in one sweet little combo unit. However, it was pretty much a one of a kind model. So, when it breaks down for good, I won't be able to replace it. Goddamn electronics-making-motherfuckers! They're out to get me. Just like everyone else. Has anyone considered getting that XM Satellite Radio, by the way? I thought about it momentarily, but my opinion is that if I'm gonna pay 300.00 for a radio, it better cater exactly to my specific tastes. And it doesn't. That's all I have right now.
Monday, May 06, 2002
It's been a while...
I'll start with what I did April 28th, my Dad's birthday. Went to the evil W in the west. I went out there on 2 1/2 hours of sleep, thinking that I could sleep on the way out there. No. My Dad brought another couple and my aunt along with me and my Mom. Six of us in the van, 5 of whom would not shut the fuck up! So, we get out there and I'm immediately down 40 bucks before I discover... the Regis slot machine. Can I tell you that machine is dangerously goddamn addictive. It has these bonus rounds that are so fun...let's just say that I had the machine up to 2400 nickels at one point. Pulled out at 2000. Granted, I put 600 in first, but whatever. The machine is so dangerous because you want to keep playing it even when you're losing. Anyhow, it was the Rainbow Casino's 7th anniversary, and they had musical entertainment for free. This was so fucking cool. At 4:00 and 6:00, The Comets (as in Bill Haley and the Comets) played. If you don't know, they're the ones that did "Rock Around The Clock", "Shake, Rattle, And Roll", and "See You Later, Alligator"; all of which they played. They're acknowledged as the band to usher in the rock era in the 50's. They played some cool covers, most of which elude me right now. These sumbitches rocked like nobody's business. It was swing meets rockabilly, and it was fucking awesome! I was absolutely enraptured. They were more fun than I could have possibly imagined they would be. And they are all in their 60's and 70's (they referred to this as their "viagra tour"). Bass player mounted his standup, and played that thing in about 10 different positions, including lying on his back with his legs straight up in the air, balancing it on his feet. I'd so much rather see a show like that than some weakass 311 style crap that passes for rock music today. Moving on, we went to dinner and, unbeknownst to me, my Dad orders fajitas. If I had been paying attention to his order, I would have been prepared for what followed. Let me preface this by saying that there are a list of things that if you, as a server, do them while waiting on my Dad, will elicit his...tantrums. These things include, but are not limited to: 1) offering him desert before he has finished his meal, 2) putting ice in his water after he has told you not to, 3) bringing cream with his coffee after he has told you not to, 4) singing to him on his birthday, 5) singing the "Happy Happy Birthday, may all your dreams come true..." song to anyone in the restaurant (or worse, the miltary sound off marching version of Happy Birthday), and 6) bringing fajitas out to him while they are sizzling! Well, the waitress brought out his fucking fajitas sizzling. Normally, I will intercept this disaster beforehand by warning the waitress not to bring them out until they're done sizzling. But I was at the other end of the table, and didn't hear him place his order. When she brought them to our table, my Dad started to wave his hands emphatically, and yelled out "Not while it's sizzlin! Not While It's Sizzlin'! Take It Back! Get it away from me!" The waitress was a little bewildered by this at first, but took them back and brought them to him in a couple minutes. She recovered nicely however, by bringing him a piece of carrot cake and not singing Happy Birthday (thanks to my warning). Sheesh! The drive home consisted of more chatter, no sleep, and the beginnings of a headache. But overall, it was a better time than when I usually go out for just the day. However, not near as fun as when we all go out there or just Lorene and I do for the whole weekend. By the way, the swelling in my Great-grandpa's legs is due to his leaky heart. He was treated at the University Hospital and is home, now. Music: "Sell It To The World" by Paradise Lost
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